10 Simple Rules To Leading By Example

People talk about ‘leading by example,’ but what does it actually mean? Dr. A. J Schuler in his work states that incorporating certain attitudes and practices into your life, you will not only improve your own life, but also begin to fashion yourself into the kind of person that others will follow and emulate – this is the very definition of leading by example. He also suggests Ten Rules for Working and Living - I have shared my interpretation of his rules below.

The Lives We Create are the Lives We Live.

 Yes, life is a creative art. Expectations are often self-fulfilling. If we expect life to be good, if we believe it is filled with opportunities and cause for celebration, then we will notice the good and live life accordingly, unconsciously attracting positive situations and opportunities even without conscious intent. If we believe life is a marathon of relentless toil, scarcity and stress, then this is what we will attract, ultimately experience, and we will inadvertently create the circumstances that promote them. For example you cannot expect to win the lottery and then win the lottery: there is no magical thinking, which manifests riches or good health. But you can and do nurture a basic attitude toward living, and if you don’t take control of it, it most assuredly will take control of you. Are you in control?

Hand in hand Health and Productivity

I talk a lot about the importance of balance, and I know everyone’s definition of balance is, very different, based on their needs and lifestyle. In order to be productive and healthy, we all have to take care of our minds, bodies and our inner being, but reverse this and it is also true: being productive is inherently healthy, and doing good, meaningful work that fits our talents can keep us alive and healthy a long time. You may have heard of someone retiring and then fall into poor health. This is no coincidence. Doing what you love to do, finding your passion, and doing it well, brings great benefit to your thinking and being. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s not destructive to others and you feel you are making your difference. Not a difference but your difference. It must make a difference to you, your life not just others. No matter how menial or arcane the job, all work brings dignity and is a medium through which a person can grow and make a contribution to others and their own lives.

Treat others as THEY would want to be treated.

This is about the law of averages. Yes, there is injustice in the world, and yes, there is cruelty. Bad things do happen to good people, and vice versa. But in general, we may sow what we reap. I once read a quote: “Make your words sweet: you may have to eat them later!" People notice how we treat them, especially when we are in positions of leadership, and most especially when we think no one is looking. What goes around comes around. Take a look at your life now and ask yourself is this the harvest of all you have sown? It is never too late to plant some new seeds.

Create your OWN Solutions

Some people are experts in seeing what is wrong with a situation, system, organisation or person. I know a few of these. But what good is such expertise? What does it solve or create? I am forever baffled by people who see themselves as passive - unable to create a solution or work toward one, but are happy to moan about situations, people and challenges they face. A great saying ‘ If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. What does anyone get out of being a perpetual critic? Perhaps it is a temporary sense of control, a feeling of power and an over egotistical sense of superiority? What could be a more impoverished way to live than that? Two schools of thought here: The passive and negative position waits for someone else to make a bad situation better, perhaps faulting others for their inaction (we see this in offices and families all the time). The positive and active position works to build a productive awareness among those who can influence a negative situation so that all can take collective action to make it better. Guess which type of person others naturally follow - and then imitate? Are you enjoying your family and friends or are they avoiding you?

Negativity is a disease that KILLS.

What is violence but an extreme expression of negativity? But the disease of negativity does not require a physical manifestation to wreck its havoc. Research shows that negative thinking weakens the immune system and contributes to disease. We also know that negativity is contagious: health experts know suicide, and even severe negativity or depression, can spread like an epidemic. Even in small doses, negativity contributes to illness and ultimately to death. Why are people drawn to good leaders? Because leaders, through their attitudes and abilities to resist or overcome negativity, function like antibodies in the world, fighting negativity and adding a life source to those around them. Is your thinking toxic? How is your thinking affecting those around you?

Listening is the KEY to Communication

Do you worry about trying to express yourself better? (you don’t have to be talkative to be a leader). Think about asking better questions, and then repeat back what you’ve heard, to ensure you have understood it right and not misinterpreted the information given. Resist the temptation to think about what you want to say in response when carrying on a conversation, you will miss valid points. When you’re really listening you’ll be amazed at how much you learn, and how much better you understand people you thought you understood before. People rightly see leaders as those who understand them, or who make the effort to try to understand them. Only once you’ve listened, have you then earned the right to speak your own point of view, based on a deeper understanding of other people and the circumstances around them. That’s what makes a person an effective leader. By setting a tone of listening, others will follow suit. As a boss, parent, teacher are you really listening?

There is always a Third Option

Good leaders know challenges that come pre-packaged as “either-or” propositions are usually set up for failure. There is always at least one other way to view a situation, expanding on the issue, finding a third alternative or creating a negotiated compromise. There are certainly times not to compromise, but even that decision should only come after a creative examination of many possible approaches has been completed. What makes leaders incredibly effective is their ability to generate these options, through imagination or consultation, before making any final decisions. While most people get trapped into defining conflicts as either/or, win/lose situations, they end up following those who prove they can shape better solutions, creating value and advantage for everyone involved. What conflicts are you facing? Are you seeking a third option?

Laughter is the BEST medicine

Life presents too much that is just fun and funny, even absurd. That’s the beauty of it. If you have this attitude about you, and nurture it, then you add the power, not only of avoiding negativity, but of adding joy and positivity to your life, and to the lives of others. Laughter is even more infectious than negativity, and is a powerful force for health and a great source of energy. As long as the laughter comes at no one else’s expense, and comes from a shared sense of the beauty and absurdity that everyone sees around them especially in ourselves!, then people can and will be drawn to you, and your sense of playfulness will be catching, a fantastic cure for low energy moments.

Hurt Few, Help MANY

As my good friend Brad Burton wrote in his book GOYA. Hurt few and help many a value he has applied to his life and business. Good work is good, but great work is even more rewarding. Do it with fun, style and passion. You are not a prisoner of your hard work, but rather see yourself as a master of your craft. If you help others along the way, either by teaching, inspiring, motivating and supporting them, setting them up for their own success, then both their life and work acquire greater meaning and so does yours. Who are you inspiring? Life is short and none of us live forever. What legacy will your children inherit and what will they remember about you?


In Conclusion

We are all human. We are all imperfect. We all have bad moods, bad moments. We all make mistakes; we all have parts of our character that we should work on. Keeping this in mind, helps us refrain from taking ourselves too seriously when we succeed or when we fail, humility and perspective is what will keep us learning, growing and moving forward and help us understand others. We cannot escape the frailties of others who are stuck in their thinking and feel hopeless to change. This is what makes the world go round. The pursuit of happiness is more important than its achievement; it is good to be competitive and dedicated to excellence in order to bring out the best in ourselves but also others, but never at the expense of others.
Whilst you have this life make the best of it, ENJOY it.