Are You Ready To Have Some Fun?

Well are you? Feeling frustrated with the job? Business not booming quite as well as you want? Do you ever feel gaga? Like you just can't think straight, your mind is foggy, your forgetful, tearful, angry, sad and have a deep sense of discontent. Do you ever wonder what's my purpose? Who am I? Why am I chasing this goal? Why am I doing this job? Do you feel connected and passionate about what you do for a living? Are you making the money you deserve? Do you feel like you deserve it? Would you like to change all this but feel trapped, stuck on a treadmill but don't know how to get off? Are you happy? 

WOW what a lot of questions huh? These questions hit me like a ton of bricks when I was 39. I needed answers, craved inner peace and contentment. I longed for control and a sense of purpose and balance in my life. I knew I didn't want to be forever searching for the answers so 5 years ago, I set out on the adventure of a lifetime, with the aim of discovering how to live a balanced life, know my purpose, have great relationships with my husband and children. Know my connection to what I was doing in life, and along the way I unearthed some realisations that had astounding positive affects on my life. I found the missing pieces to the jigsaw puzzle and over the last couple of years I have assembled the jigsaw to produce a fabulous work of art, a masterpiece to behold. It's value is priceless and my searching over.

I have been sharing my findings with coaching clients over the last few years and now I am offering you the chance to share in my realisations too. Are you ready to make some changes in your life? Then invite you to come and join me on September 15th 2012 in Birmigham and September 22nd in Bristol. I will save you money and more importantly precious time searching for the answers you are so desperate for. In just one day I will give you the solution to living a less stressed, balanced, abundant life. NOW is the time to Revive your life.

I will share with you the 4 secrets to living a balanced life,  that saved my relationships with my husband and saw my bonds deepen with my children. I will also share the 7 principles fundamental to redesigning your life, they transformed mine. I will also reveal the secret to unlocking EXTRAORDINARY life success, wealth and well-being and how to avoid the trap of self doubt, mediocrity, insecurity, frustration and regret and so much more...

Book NOW to secure your early bird offer limited places for this event.

10 Simple Rules To Leading By Example

People talk about ‘leading by example,’ but what does it actually mean? Dr. A. J Schuler in his work states that incorporating certain attitudes and practices into your life, you will not only improve your own life, but also begin to fashion yourself into the kind of person that others will follow and emulate – this is the very definition of leading by example. He also suggests Ten Rules for Working and Living - I have shared my interpretation of his rules below.

The Lives We Create are the Lives We Live.

 Yes, life is a creative art. Expectations are often self-fulfilling. If we expect life to be good, if we believe it is filled with opportunities and cause for celebration, then we will notice the good and live life accordingly, unconsciously attracting positive situations and opportunities even without conscious intent. If we believe life is a marathon of relentless toil, scarcity and stress, then this is what we will attract, ultimately experience, and we will inadvertently create the circumstances that promote them. For example you cannot expect to win the lottery and then win the lottery: there is no magical thinking, which manifests riches or good health. But you can and do nurture a basic attitude toward living, and if you don’t take control of it, it most assuredly will take control of you. Are you in control?

Hand in hand Health and Productivity

I talk a lot about the importance of balance, and I know everyone’s definition of balance is, very different, based on their needs and lifestyle. In order to be productive and healthy, we all have to take care of our minds, bodies and our inner being, but reverse this and it is also true: being productive is inherently healthy, and doing good, meaningful work that fits our talents can keep us alive and healthy a long time. You may have heard of someone retiring and then fall into poor health. This is no coincidence. Doing what you love to do, finding your passion, and doing it well, brings great benefit to your thinking and being. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s not destructive to others and you feel you are making your difference. Not a difference but your difference. It must make a difference to you, your life not just others. No matter how menial or arcane the job, all work brings dignity and is a medium through which a person can grow and make a contribution to others and their own lives.

Treat others as THEY would want to be treated.

This is about the law of averages. Yes, there is injustice in the world, and yes, there is cruelty. Bad things do happen to good people, and vice versa. But in general, we may sow what we reap. I once read a quote: “Make your words sweet: you may have to eat them later!" People notice how we treat them, especially when we are in positions of leadership, and most especially when we think no one is looking. What goes around comes around. Take a look at your life now and ask yourself is this the harvest of all you have sown? It is never too late to plant some new seeds.

Create your OWN Solutions

Some people are experts in seeing what is wrong with a situation, system, organisation or person. I know a few of these. But what good is such expertise? What does it solve or create? I am forever baffled by people who see themselves as passive - unable to create a solution or work toward one, but are happy to moan about situations, people and challenges they face. A great saying ‘ If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. What does anyone get out of being a perpetual critic? Perhaps it is a temporary sense of control, a feeling of power and an over egotistical sense of superiority? What could be a more impoverished way to live than that? Two schools of thought here: The passive and negative position waits for someone else to make a bad situation better, perhaps faulting others for their inaction (we see this in offices and families all the time). The positive and active position works to build a productive awareness among those who can influence a negative situation so that all can take collective action to make it better. Guess which type of person others naturally follow - and then imitate? Are you enjoying your family and friends or are they avoiding you?

Negativity is a disease that KILLS.

What is violence but an extreme expression of negativity? But the disease of negativity does not require a physical manifestation to wreck its havoc. Research shows that negative thinking weakens the immune system and contributes to disease. We also know that negativity is contagious: health experts know suicide, and even severe negativity or depression, can spread like an epidemic. Even in small doses, negativity contributes to illness and ultimately to death. Why are people drawn to good leaders? Because leaders, through their attitudes and abilities to resist or overcome negativity, function like antibodies in the world, fighting negativity and adding a life source to those around them. Is your thinking toxic? How is your thinking affecting those around you?

Listening is the KEY to Communication

Do you worry about trying to express yourself better? (you don’t have to be talkative to be a leader). Think about asking better questions, and then repeat back what you’ve heard, to ensure you have understood it right and not misinterpreted the information given. Resist the temptation to think about what you want to say in response when carrying on a conversation, you will miss valid points. When you’re really listening you’ll be amazed at how much you learn, and how much better you understand people you thought you understood before. People rightly see leaders as those who understand them, or who make the effort to try to understand them. Only once you’ve listened, have you then earned the right to speak your own point of view, based on a deeper understanding of other people and the circumstances around them. That’s what makes a person an effective leader. By setting a tone of listening, others will follow suit. As a boss, parent, teacher are you really listening?

There is always a Third Option

Good leaders know challenges that come pre-packaged as “either-or” propositions are usually set up for failure. There is always at least one other way to view a situation, expanding on the issue, finding a third alternative or creating a negotiated compromise. There are certainly times not to compromise, but even that decision should only come after a creative examination of many possible approaches has been completed. What makes leaders incredibly effective is their ability to generate these options, through imagination or consultation, before making any final decisions. While most people get trapped into defining conflicts as either/or, win/lose situations, they end up following those who prove they can shape better solutions, creating value and advantage for everyone involved. What conflicts are you facing? Are you seeking a third option?

Laughter is the BEST medicine

Life presents too much that is just fun and funny, even absurd. That’s the beauty of it. If you have this attitude about you, and nurture it, then you add the power, not only of avoiding negativity, but of adding joy and positivity to your life, and to the lives of others. Laughter is even more infectious than negativity, and is a powerful force for health and a great source of energy. As long as the laughter comes at no one else’s expense, and comes from a shared sense of the beauty and absurdity that everyone sees around them especially in ourselves!, then people can and will be drawn to you, and your sense of playfulness will be catching, a fantastic cure for low energy moments.

Hurt Few, Help MANY

As my good friend Brad Burton wrote in his book GOYA. Hurt few and help many a value he has applied to his life and business. Good work is good, but great work is even more rewarding. Do it with fun, style and passion. You are not a prisoner of your hard work, but rather see yourself as a master of your craft. If you help others along the way, either by teaching, inspiring, motivating and supporting them, setting them up for their own success, then both their life and work acquire greater meaning and so does yours. Who are you inspiring? Life is short and none of us live forever. What legacy will your children inherit and what will they remember about you?


In Conclusion

We are all human. We are all imperfect. We all have bad moods, bad moments. We all make mistakes; we all have parts of our character that we should work on. Keeping this in mind, helps us refrain from taking ourselves too seriously when we succeed or when we fail, humility and perspective is what will keep us learning, growing and moving forward and help us understand others. We cannot escape the frailties of others who are stuck in their thinking and feel hopeless to change. This is what makes the world go round. The pursuit of happiness is more important than its achievement; it is good to be competitive and dedicated to excellence in order to bring out the best in ourselves but also others, but never at the expense of others.
Whilst you have this life make the best of it, ENJOY it.

Are You Leading by Example?

As the eldest child in my family, growing up, this ethos was instilled in me. It was reinforced over and over and became part of my belief system, conditioning and to an extent has shaped who I am and how I live my life now. As a child I was told I had to set a good example to my younger sisters. Looking back this has had an impact on the relationship I now have with my family. As a child I hated the thought that I would be held responsible for my sister’s behaviours, actions and that blame would be apportioned to me if their behaviour did not meet with my parent’s expectations. I found it unjust that my behaviour was the benchmark for my sisters to learn to live their lives by, and felt stifled. Not free to be myself and learn about life without this added pressure of setting a good example to my younger siblings. This form of control, conditional love and fear based values fuelled my desire to move away from the family home and live my own life, wanting to flee the feelings of being judged and feeling ashamed of who I am and fearful of making mistakes. I spent the day with Dr. Joanna Martin yesterday in London. She made me realise just how much my fear of making mistakes when leading by example had affected my ability to make some very important decisions as my business evolves. Yesterday was a powerful turning point for me and now have the certainty I was searching for. I can look back as an adult and parent myself, and understand my parents teaching, I do not judge them and thank them, and have let go of the 18 years of conditioning that did have an affect on how I interacted with my siblings and indeed my parents. I am now at peace with this affect and have found value in the teaching of leading by example and applied it to my life in a more positive way.

I have passed this ethos onto my own children but removed the fear and responsibility that was attached to it when I was a child. I have empowered them to live their lives to the best of their ability and discussed with them that there are perhaps more enriching ways to live life, but ultimately it is up to them to decide what is best for themselves. I have not attached conditions to their learning or how they live their lives. They are free to make mistakes, and take lessons from these and are able to talk about them with me, as my love comes with no conditions. I am proud they do come to me and talk about their challenges. Today as I look into my garden right now, they are all home with their partners. I encourage them to come together regularly. I love these precious moments as we chat and catch up on life.

How are your behaviours affecting your children whatever age they are? Does your love come with conditions? How often do you visit your children, call them, tell them you love them, invite them to dinner and encourage them to share precious moments? Are you leading by example yourself?

My Week in Review

Wow Congratulations to Mark zuckerberg who has what could be considered the biggest week of his life so far. In the space of just seven days, the Facebook CEO turned 28, has taken his company public, become worth almost $20 billion and married his college sweetheart. On the one hand, thinking about all of those life-altering events happening in such a short period of time makes me feel like I need a lie down in a dark room. On the other hand what an amazing young man and If Mark Zuckerberg can make it happen so can you and so can I. I am not being cocky here and for me it's not about have that amount of money in the bank. It's more having control of my life and the choices I make. Remember our motto there is ‘no such word as can’t’. As far as weeks go, mine has been pretty spectacular in its’ own right. When you choose to control your own destiny and take some positive actions and back this up with a decision, it will lead to some great results.

Monday saw me launch Make It Happen Monday at Birmingham at St. Andrews football stadium on behalf of 4Networking This revolutionary new concept is making a massive impact across the country. Bringing local business together for 3 hours, once a month and teaming them up relevant experts to help them overcome a business challenge they may be facing. What challenges are you facing at the moment? Do you have the right support and expert advice to help you overcome it?

Tuesday had me travelling to London as I had been invited to have breakfast at ‘The Times’, with Ian King, the business editor who was hosting a business masterclass in association with HP officejet pro. Three great business experts were in the chair sharing their wisdom. Susan Bowen, UK & Ireland, director of strategy, HP. Donna Kelly, Co-founder of Dressipi and I was particularly inspired by Scott Martin, Founder of Coffee Nation, who talked about leadership based values, business culture and the importance of staying true to our core values, which can be difficult as businesses expand, grow and develop, he also talked about how it is vital to keep the heart of the business and every leader needs a sounding board. It made me realise that is exactly what I am for most of my clients a sounding board. I met up with Miranda from Muddy Boots organic burgers based in Worcester and the founder of Joe&sephs gourmet popcorn two up and coming companies that have embraced an idea, despite all the odds and have not allowed ‘I can’t’ to deter them from making their ideas a reality. What ideas do you have that you are sitting on? What’s stopping you from acting on it?

Thursday & Friday saw me back in London for The Business show and still very much in awe of the teleporting system known as, the London underground. Incredible just getting off a train from Birmingham, onto a tube, off a tube onto another tube, off a tube and straight onto another one and et voila smoothly transported to the Excel exhibition centre. I was invited by a client of mine Brad Burton who was speaking at the event on Thursday. Great to see 4N’s speed networking create a real buzz and people queuing up to get involved. Brad’s vision for a national joined up networking platform has very much become a reality and watching new members sign up at the exhibition was fabulous.  It was great to catch up with internet guru Mark Lyford, Mark Linton of the Business growth show and Warren Cass who runs the successful company 'Business scene'. I was really pleased to meet two courageous ladies whom I am looking forward to getting to know better over the next few months. Rachel Elnaugh you may remember her, from BBC'1 Dragons Den series 1 & 2 and Shaa wasmund, whose current top selling business book 'Stop talking & Start doing' has knocked Richard Branson off the No.1 spot . Both these inspiring female business entrepreneurs have overcome their own adversity.  What all the people I have met this week have in common including my two lovely clients on Wednesday is they knew failure was not an option, mistakes and adversity happen in life, and do not happen in order for us to use them as excuses to hold us back. What life event are you allowing to hold you back from truly living the life you desire? 

If you are struggling it doesn't have to be that way, find the support, pick up a book that can help you. Do something that will make you feel better, anything to move you closer to living the life you truly want. Small steps are the easiest not huge leaps. Little and often will see a compound effect, which we will talk about more during the week ahead. You CAN do it, all you have to do is make a decision. What will your decision be?

No Such Word As Can’t

Those wonderful words of wisdom have been with me my whole life, thanks to my lovely Mom. She would tell my sisters and I “There is no such word as can’t. It is I can, I will and I must.” I have applied this principle to my whole life. Times have got tough, as they often do for all of us, and these words have been my saving grace. With the re-branding of my company well underway, the website elves, in the shape of the amazing internet genius and successful entrepreneur Mark Lyford, are working hard to put together a new exciting website for you all to enjoy very soon. In the meantime I thought I would set up this blog, so I can keep in touch with all of you whom I have had the pleasure of meeting and interacting with over the last two years.

It has been an amazing 6 months and this last few weeks has seen two years of hard work, determination, getting up at silly hours of the morning and travelling a crazy amount of miles, wearing out several sets of tyres and putting my last coffers in the petrol tank to get to the meetings that have led to some explosive business expansion.  I would like to dedicate this first blog to my Mom and all Moms out there that have supported their families and offered words of wisdom. I know without a shadow of a doubt if it wasn’t for her words of wisdom ringing in my unconscious mind, I would have given up on several occasions. How many times have you tried to accomplish a goal you have set yourself, but given up just as it became too much? You’re not alone, it is easy to do. But what if you had persisted for just one moment longer and won through, how could this have changed your life? You are always closer than you think you are.

The older I get and the more years I have under my belt, and after working as an emergency nurse for several years and seeing life expire before my very eyes, I realise how precious life is and we only get one shot at it. Every tick of the clock, beat of your heart; there is no going back. I personally dread the thought of getting to 60 years of age and looking back at all the opportunities I could have taken but I told myself I can’t for whatever reason. Life is what YOU make it, not what others make it for you, as I have always taught my children. ‘If it’s to be, it’s up to me.’ No one else is responsible for your success, only you. I know some of you out there have not been as fortunate in life and had the support, but that is a thing of the past, as I am here to revive you, and breathe life into your very existence, empowering you to dare to feel vibrantly alive, living life to the max and reaching your fullest potential. So come on, now is your time to make the changes you deserve. I’m wildly excited to be taking this journey with you, hold on for the ride there will be bumps along the way, that’s life! But together we are stronger and can weather the storms; I have so much to share with you. You cannot put a price on wisdom. If you’re ready, it will be worth it.