STRESS CAN KILL TAKE ACTION BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

Stress is different things to different people. It’s also different things at different times to the same person. Therefore, stress is very individual. 

Whether something becomes a stressor to you depends on a variety of variables, according to Richard Blonna, Ed.D, a nationally certified coach and counselor and author of Stress Less, Live More: How Acceptance & Commitment Therapy Can Help You Live a Busy Yet Balanced Life.

He defines stress as a “holistic transaction between the individual and the potential stressor resulting in a stress response.” For example, being stuck in traffic on your way to work is a stressor. But traffic on a leisurely Sunday isn’t

Your response to a stressor also depends on your physiological state. “Each transaction you're involved in takes place in a very specific level and that’s affected by our health, sleep, medication, taking any kind of drug. environment, whether you've had breakfast [that day] and [whether we’re] physically fit,” Blonna said. Lack of sleep and many cups of coffee can heighten stress, whereas a great workout and a big breakfast may buffer it. 

Often though in this fast passed life, it can feel like we’re powerless to deal with these stressors. That we have no choice but to get bothered by traffic, illness and bills. But we do have some control over our response to potential stressors, as Blonna said.

With this in mind I thought I would share 5 Ways to Cope Better with Stress. The information below will empower you, as well sharing how to cope effectively with stress.

5 Ways to Cope Better with Stress 

When trying to manage stress, Blonna said that many people mistakenly look for a sticking plaster approach. They look for one approach to work with all stressors in all situations at all times. But realistically you can’t rely on one technique. For instance, diaphragmatic breathing is an effective stress reliever but you might not want to use it in a certain situation because you’re feeling self-conscious and don’t want to bring attention to yourself, he said. Similarly, while Blonna is a big believer in meditation, he said it doesn't work if you’re stuck in traffic, since it’s dangerous to close your eyes.

Instead, “What we need is a toolbox that’s full of techniques that we can fit and choose for the stressor in the present moment,” he said. Stress is complex, so your approach to coping with it has to be “broad-based and adaptive,” he said. Years ago, he developed five levels of strategies for coping with stress or the “five Rs of coping model.” Each level has multiple strategies.

1. Reorganize.

As a health educator, Blonna knows the importance of a healthy lifestyle, especially for stress management. He said that “reorganizing your health” and “develop[ing] hearty habits” provides more energy and builds coping resilience. For instance, exercise not only improves physical functioning but it also helps your brain work better and process information better, he said.

In fact, maybe you “won’t even get stressed in the first place.” Blonna aims to get at least 30 minutes of cardio four to five times a week. As he said, physical wellbeing isn’t “merely your health insurance, but [your] basic defense against stress.”

2. Rethink.

What your mind tells you “about a potential stressor determines whether it becomes an actual stressor,” Blonna said. He gave the example of a student who’s terrified of failing a final exam. He keeps focusing on how he isn’t smart and will do poorly, instead of focusing on the things that will help him do well on the exam, such as meeting with the professor, scheduling a study session with others and studying for the final. The goal is to get over your negative thinking and accept that while you may not be an expert in a certain subject, like in this case, you can still try your best and do what you can to learn the material.

Our scripts from the past also can turn potential stressors actual ones. They can stunt growth in the very areas that we value. From the perspective of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Blonna said, we carry mental and emotional baggage about past events and experiences. When similar experiences come up, these old scripts lead to negative self-talk. Take the idea of a new relationship, he said. This can be a potential stressor if other relationships didn’t go well. While you’re very interested in this person and you value relationships, old images of past failed relationships, self-doubt and negative scripts keep coming up.

If we let these things become barriers to moving forward, then “we aren’t living lives with what we value,” he said. He likens this baggage to carrying around a duffle bag. “Each of us has this duffel bag filled with negative thoughts, mental images and dialogue.” We have two options: we can “let duffle bag drag us down [or] we can just drop it or put it away.” It’s the idea of accepting that this baggage does exist—“we can’t eliminate it”—but “I don’t have to let it stop me in my tracks,” he said. Plus, once you experience a positive relationship or experience, you create a healthy frame of reference.

In general, “be aware of that baggage and how it’s affecting [your] life in the present moment; how it’s influencing your ability to enjoy life now” and to accept “the fact that that’s how [your] mind works.” But you do have the power to change those negative thoughts and push through self-doubting scripts.

Blonna gave an example from his own life when he was considering becoming an ACT trainer. He had various negative scripts running in his mind, including how he’d inevitably fail and who did he think he was to train psychotherapists with years of experience in the first place. He “almost said no.” But after a while, he decided that he’d do several training sessions. If they were “total failures,” he’d stop. The result? The training sessions went exceptionally well, and he continues to train others.

3. Reduce.

“Sometimes we’re stressed out because of the sheer volume of things we’re involved in,” Blonna said. When you’re overwhelmed, even fun things lose their appeal and become stressors. Take running, for example. If you’re rushing around and have to force running in between two other commitments, this passion may become another source of stress, he said. The key is to find optimal stimulation, so you aren’t understimulated (i.e., bored) with your activities or overstimulated (i.e., overwhelmed).

To do that, consider all the things you’re involved in. It can help to keep a journal to track your activities and your feelings about them, Blonna said. Also, he suggested asking yourself, “Do they mesh with my goals and values? Am I doing things that give my life meaning? Am I doing the right amount of things?”

Other questions that may provide you with good insight: “When you wake up in the morning, do you look forward to what’s on your plate? Are you excited to start the day? Or do you dread getting out of bed because you don’t have any energy?”

Understand that getting to this balanced place takes trial and error. Also, it takes saying no to things that aren’t that important to you. For instance, Blonna has worked with students who take on 19 credits to please their parents, but they get incredibly overwhelmed with the course load. “They can only handle 12 credits and would rather cut back and enjoy the process of learning but allow others to bully them into toughing it out yet they’re miserable,” he said.

4. Relax.

This level is “designed to put your body in a state that’s incompatible with stress,” Blonna said. Interestingly, “a lot of people are so stressed [that] they don’t know what the absence of stress or a calm mind feels like,” he said. But practicing clinically proven relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or systematic muscle relaxation, for about 20 minutes a day can help tremendously. While you won’t always have the time to devote to these techniques on a daily basis, he said, it is important to make relaxation a priority.

5. Release.

Here, the goal is two-fold, according to Blonna: to reduce muscle tension and to “use up energy that’s mobilized during a stress response.” He divides physical activity into mild, moderate and vigorous activities. Maybe in addition to your physical activity routine, you need something more vigorous to release the tension so you lift weights or go on a brisk walk.

How to Kick Start Your Day to Ignite Your Energy & Weight Loss Instantly

"Change Your Breakfast Habits, Change Your Life."

What a great saying I read this on a blog recently it talked about changing your breakfast habits and went onto say its key, fundamental, life changing lesson. One that I learned when losing weight and teach all my clients.

The blog went onto to say and I would have to agree that hundreds of studies have proven that there is a direct correlation between an insufficient breakfast and the quality of your health – including your energy, excess weight and even aging. Grab a piece of paper and have a think now, and write down, what have you had for breakfast for the past week? Most people will fall into one of three categories: 

Breakfast 1: nothing for breakfast, too busy or can't face it
Breakfast 2: the fast (barely there) on the go breakfast - coffee and a cigarette or grab a Macdonalds drive thru, or something quick and as nutritious as a piece of wood.
Breakfast 3: the standard Western variety - toast, cereal,croissant, pastries, breakfast bar or biscuit or a bowl of fruit.

Each of these are problematic in their own right, lets take a look:

No Breakfast - This Makes You Fat, Slow and Low

Research shows when you have nothing for breakfast you’re getting your body off to the poorest start possible . After a 7-10 hour fast (while you sleep) your body is absolutely crying out for nutrients and your metabolism has ground to a halt. Imagine a fire that has gone out, that's your metabolism it needs fuel to get it burning again. So on waking and not eating breakfast this starts a vicious cycle immediately in your day. Not only do your cells start to cannibalise to get the nutrients they need (including breaking down bones and muscle) your body trains itself not to expect food in the morning, so your metabolism gets even slower as your body goes into ‘starvation mode’ – clinging onto any fat it can for energy. Is it really worth skipping breakfast?

Many people skip breakfast and this sends your blood sugar and energy levels on a roller-coaster that will end up in snacking, cravings, poor diet choices and binging – sending you blood sugar and energy levels spiralling even further out of control. Breakfast eases your metabolism into action, keeping you steady and stable and reducing the likelihood of poor food choices.

The Fast Breakfast On The Go…Fast Track to Fatigue and Fat

You’re in a hurry and you grab whatever you can on your way out of the door, or worse, on your commute. Have a think about these foods – coffee, toast, bagel, sausage roll, pastry…

Do you think these are going to energise your body?! Do you think these arealkaline and energy giving? Absolutely not. And to compound this, we then eat these foods while we’re on the move which totally messes with your digestive system.

The (Low) Standard Western Breakfast - Cardboard City

When you think about the typical western breakfast what do you think of? Do you think of ingredients such as eggs, bacon, sausages, cereal, toast, jam, orange juice, milk, fried toast, french toast, pancakes, syrup, coffee, tea, croissants, pastries, pop tarts etc.

All, yes, ALL of those foods are very acid forming, will drain your energy, send your blood sugar spiralling out of control and leave you feeling that 10-11am slump, if they don’t already have you falling asleep on your commute to work.

Can you imagine how FANTASTIC it would be if you actually felt vibrant and alive in the mornings?! Eat a breakfast that is low in acid and alkalising. Be good to yourself, you're so worth it. Begin by getting breakfast right give yourself the gift of good health.

Are You Wasting Time?

"If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves" - Maria Edgeworth

Whilst away as I watched sat back, relaxed and took in the sights and sounds of Corfu. What struck me most apart from the beauty of the Island, is the pace of life and the lack of urgency, even the driving was not as irrate as some places we have visited. As I pondered this it got me thinking about how we live our lives with urgency especially owning your own business and needing to provide an income. Since starting my own business I have had to learn the difference between urgency and important. I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen covey some years back. I would recommend you grab a copy for yourself. I often recommend it to people who attend my Personal Development workshops. This book allowed me to organise myself and my time more effectively. I gave a copy to a client last Autumn, as he was stressed with a to do list that never seemed to reduce, Everything was urgent to him, I explained this book would help. However, his first comment to me was that there was something missing. His real challenge was that he didn't see how you get from the theory to the practice.

There is no doubt that the principles outlined in the book are fundamental truths, I mean they were even known to Aristotle. He was quoted as teaching that there are three basic steps that you must take to get what you want out of life.

* Understand that you Can achieve Success
* Define what Success represents, for You
* Organise you life around its Achievement

And I would have to agree and say he was absolutely spot on with these principles. Don't under-estimate the value of these simple steps ( in our lives we often over look something if its simple believing if its simple it has little or no value, and go on to over complicate life. I bet you can think of occasions you've done this) here you have an important principle. It is a principle that everyone who has ever been successful, in any field of endeavour, has also used.

In his follow-up book, First Things First, Stephen Covey explains that most people are driven by the concept of urgency. But to really effect positive change in our lives, we need to reorganise the way we spend our time; based on the concept of importance - not urgency. For most people, the problem is that we are continually doing the urgent stuff, at the expense of the important.

The result of properly dedicating ourselves to the important activity is that we will gain control over what is happening in our lives: we will thereby reduce the time we spend being driven by the concept of urgency. Time for important activity, of course, must come from elsewhere. It must come from saying 'no' to some of the urgent stuff! This can be tough at first but once you do it and realise nothing bad happens and life continues, it becomes very liberating.

So there is no question that to achieve something significant, we need to take the subject of Time Management very seriously. After teaching Time Management, I am convinced that people need to STOP and take stock of where they are and look at what is really urgent and what is important.

For a week keep a list of how you utilise your time, including how long you spend on each thing you do, be honest and don't miss anything off. Mark next to each task whether it is Urgent, Important, Non Urgent, Non Important.

Using this simple method you will be able to see, where your time is going: on the urgent stuff or on the important stuff. That's the kind of clarity you really need in order to be able to achieve your Mission. When you can make this important connection between your heart's desire, encapsulated within your Mission, and your everyday use of time, then you will become unstoppable.

Success simply cannot continue to elude you when you have followed the principles we have been discussing. You will begin to achieve your goals through your effective use of time.

And take your life further, because those goals will be set as steps along the route to your major objective, you will also achieve your Mission, however you have defined it. When it comes to your mission it is important to know your outcome and why you are doing what your doing? But that's for us to discuss another time. For now go away reflect on where you are right now and where you want to be. What needs to change in order for you to get there?